hugefan's blog

It was bound to happen. Having had cancellations in the past, three days before, a day before and even on the day it was only a matter of time before the dreaded no show occurred.

having taken the standard precautions, exchanged messages, reminded the week before, messaged on the day, provided a mobile number in case of emergency mishaps, nothing could possibly go wrong.

I arrive in good time. Ten minutes pass. I know he is driving, must be having trouble parking. I play the casual staring game. Looming figures coming out of the dark and rain. I try to discretely look without staring and god forbid smiling. I don't want my first no show to turn into my first street fight.

'Mmmmm, he looks nice. Wonder if he fancies a wrestle.' 'is that him, has he grown a beard since he sent the photo' 'that could be him but he seems to have grown two feet' 'is that man smiling at me because he recognises me or... no, he's pissed' 'can I have a light' the young handsome eastern European asks, 'certainly', I reply, 'and do you like stripping down to your pants and getting sweaty with random men' I casually and silently enquire. Sexual encounter over, I check the time. Fifteen minutes late. I let the mat room know, full of apologies. Back to the game of face recognition. It suddenly becomes clear why police line ups are so unreliable, a face so clear in my mind only this morning morphs into a variety of shapes and sizes. That guy has his eyes, another his nose, someone else his eyebrows, all i needed was a potato and I could play Mr potato head. Not that my opponent looks like a potato, I must add, I don't wait forty minutes developing pneumonia for an ugly bloke. I might be a nice guy but I am not completely stupid.

So, I wonder, what is the appropriate length of time to wait without even getting a message. Why do I feel guilty after forty minutes of life endangering face staring and bone savaging damp London weather?

I leave. I should be angry but somehow I wonder if I got something wrong. Go home. No, I had the right day. I had the right time. No message from Mr Hot but unreliable.

Now the question is, should I follow up my first no show with my first 'flag' of complaint. He sounded like such a decent guy. Maybe something dreadful happened to him and I will forever feel guilty if I have complained.

I decide I will wait and see if I get an apology or even an explanation. I play my face recognition test one last time - could that be him - no, its my cat, at least i can rely on him.