osakarob's blog

Covers all the bases very nicely! I might add the possible barrier of unrealistic expectations. Waiting for that ideal match instead of taking what's available.

I’ll speak from someone who participates in freestyle wrestling events and trains at a club. By and by, the barriers you mention are the same, whether for sport, or whether for a hobby. The rationale given is again, more or less the same. Here are some other ones:

STIGMAS: In my world, despite some well organized and structured events, adult wrestling is perceived as deviant or perverse. You’re looked upon as an oddity, and some would label any adult who wrestles as a queer.

Inside the wrestling community, stigmas still exist, and largely phobic ones. It’s kind of ridiculous, and as a large man, it hits twice because society has painted huskier men as being slobs, dirty, or kinky because no matter what, minimalist gear doesn’t cover everything and between a man with six pack and or a man with flab, the six pack abs win out.

ABILITY: This is more for those who wrestle on the regular, and have had the privilege of doing it for years. If someone doesn’t fit the mould of a traditional wrestler, or lacks abilities but yet claim to be a wrestler, you’re blackballed and ostracized. It happened even to me not that long ago.

On the competitive side, there’s a lot of preconceptions that exist and generational behaviours taught that make the sport feel like an old boys club. For some not blessed with that same chance due to these barriers and potentially more, you’re judged and dealt with based on status.

These are just some I’d add. It’s also why I’m here. I know I don’t fit a conventional mould in either world, but want to be a bridge for both. I want hobbyists to know there’s a place for them in the mainstream, and I want the mainstream to give up some of these biases and stigmas that keep people out.

Hope this adds value to the conversation.

You add some great points! If something isn't commonly done, it is by its nature uncommon and thus suspect. People have questions but don't really want answers. They just want their suspicions and doubts. I think most people would be surprised to learn there are men in their 30's on up into their 70's that still like to wrestle.

100% this. And they’d be surprised that there are MANY countries who send wrestlers between 35 and 60 to a world championship every single year.

And for the Americans here, the US team are 2x Freestyle Team Champions. They’re tough as nails, but a lot of them are very inclusive and open to anybody giving it a go.

“minimalist gear doesn’t cover everything and between a man with six pack and or a man with flab, the six pack abs win out.”

I’m going to give this just a little bit of pushback. Sure, if we’re talking about the world at large, you’re absolutely right. Conventional standards of attraction are restrictive and damaging. And while I can’t really say too much about the freestyle wrestling world, in pro, you’d be surprised at the amount of attraction that larger built guys receive. I don’t think I have enough digits to count how many blogs, social media profiles, and so on that are completely focused on pro wrestlers that’re more bearish in build. Granted, they’re tailored towards a gay audience, and one could argue that it’s basically fetishization, but I digress. And do you know what they’d call a guy built like me?

Tiny.

Pathetic.

Weak.

All of these words have been spoken to me during matches, chats, whatever by bigger guys. Hell I even got a guy to tap after his silly little trash talk, and without any sort of introspection went back to calling me pathetic and weak as soon as we resumed. There’s men who won’t even talk to me because I’m not bigger, older, or hairier. We’re not even talking about being granted the dignity of being told where the kids table is, it’s simply ignoring the fly that’s buzzing around the room until the trash takes itself out.

I’ll be the first to admit that all of this makes me sound a bit bitter. And I’m not afraid to acknowledge that in a way I kind of am. I spent nearly a decade of my life before ever stepping into a ring looking at guys like Stan Hansen, Arn Anderson, Parrow, and wanting to be like them. And then once I finally got to engage with a community that was into the same things I was, while there’s been many who have been nothing but incredible to me, there’s also been plenty who’ve given me cold shoulders and pretend I don’t exist, or play into the charade of wanting to squash some puny jobber as a reminder that he’ll always be at the bottom of the food chain.

I appreciate the pushback, because it helps us all become better and confront biases and invites different perspectives. So thank you for that.

It’s an interesting paradigm for sure because in mainstream competition, there’s a lot of dialogue about how the middle and light weight athletes are the super stars of the support that can do incredible things, but as you get bigger, unless you can move like a lightweight or look like one, you’re called fat, lazy, undesirable, boring. I hear it as an athlete, and I hear it as a referee. A few of my fellow referees hate officiating heavyweight matches because “the guys stink, they sweat too much, they’re slow, they’re going to hurt me, etc.”

In short, I get what you are saying, appreciate your lived experience, and apologize that this has been the treatment you have received. I cannot speak for everyone, but I promise to do better in how I address these things.

FWIW, my personal take is this: if you can step on a mat, in a ring, or willing to test yourself against another human being, and giving it your all, you belong. Doesn’t matter one’s size, experience, ability etc. People can be taught to wrestle. But as these are legitimate barriers to overcome, the stigma of appearance and physique is something experienced by all.

That’s part of the reason why I didn’t really comment on this paradigm from the perspective of athletic competition. Pro toes the line between competition and storytelling, where character is often just as pronounced as athleticism. Hell that phenomenon of “unless they can move like a lightweight” is also present in the pro world to some extent, as heavyweights that can moonsault, or do kip-ups, can generate a lot of buzz. There’s also no denying that there’s a particular “gimmick” that you’re more likely to see among larger guys, the “monster,” the “immovable object,” an unbeatable obstacle that has to be chopped down like a towering oak, I’m sure in that world there’s definitely a fair bit of typecasting.

As far as apologizing for the treatment, I don’t really think that’s necessary. There’s no denying that part of the reason for wanting to meet someone can easily come down to basic attraction, even if we don’t want to admit it. I’m guilty of it, and I’m sure there are many who can say the same, especially if our desire to fight can go beyond just a competitive drive.

I think part of the reason that it’s difficult to have these sorts of conversations is that by and large (no pun intended) size shaming usually goes in a particular direction, and there’s no denying that. I’ve seen guys who’ve bulked up even address it, particularly among the bear world, but the behavior rarely gets called out, if anything it’s glossed over for the sake of thirst, but I’m starting to deviate from the point of the original post.

Absolutely, your insightful comments regarding the hurdles in the wrestling world resonate deeply. The combination of financial considerations, such as purchasing spandex trunks, singlets, boots, and pads, along with the cost of ring rental for training, can be quite daunting for those just starting out. However, my dream goes beyond mere gear and training; I long to acquire a building solely to install a wrestling ring and create an accessible space that ignites curiosity and passion for the sport.

Mastering wrestling involves a complex interweaving of mental and physical fortitude, with the psychological component often underestimated. Overcoming fears and self-doubt is as crucial as developing technical skills. A dedicated training center with the right atmosphere can significantly aid in this process, offering a place where novices can grow and hone their abilities alongside others who share their ambition.

The significance of a supportive community in wrestling cannot be overemphasized. Whether found at local gyms or through online platforms like Meetfighters, it plays a pivotal role in sustaining motivation and building confidence. Such an environment transforms the potentially isolating journey into a collaborative quest, where individuals face challenges together and learn from one another.

Sadly, barriers to participation in wrestling persist throughout one's career, from the initial stages to advanced levels. Injuries and personal life changes can deter even the most dedicated athletes. Yet, by fostering an open culture that supports each member, we can collectively navigate these challenges and continue to flourish within the sport.

The wrestling community has the power to be a bastion of inclusivity and empowerment, offering a space where everyone can share their triumphs and tribulations. By engaging in open dialogue and sharing personal narratives, we can work towards breaking down barriers and providing the necessary resources and encouragement for all.

Thank you for bringing this essential topic to the forefront. Let's collectively aim to cultivate a wrestling environment that acknowledges the complexity of the challenges and provides the necessary tools and support for all individuals to thrive in their pursuit of this incredible sport. Please log in to view gallery photos.

I think some other barriers are "Interaction, Respect, and Safety" due to personal experience (a story I don't want to go into but welling to tell if asked. Some know), and other stories I've heard from others in the community. Respect and Interaction are a barriers because words travels fast, and it can easily create a bad reputation if you come off very disrespectful to others or the way you interact with other is just being an asshole in general. When it comes to safety, accidents happens, but if the person is known to be "unsafe" by multiple that can also create a barrier for them as well.

It’s said without integrity, nothing works. Respect should be on that list as well.

It is definitely something that goes a long way, and also one that can be taken for granted. I cannot speak for anybody else, but for me, I understand, respect, and appreciate that all of us here have some common bonds and attributes that bring us together. I also know that within that framework, there are varying degrees of interest and varying interests. If you’ve been clear and direct with your messaging and someone then goes and makes you uncomfortable or leaves you feeling violated, that is unsafe not just for you, but the community at large. Sadly, it does happen, and those ramifications take time to address and overcome.

It’s why I suggest everyone read one’s profile page and frequently review your own. This goes a long way in showing respect, both to them and to you, as well as keeping everyone safe.

Love it!
Love what you are Saying!
Hopefully we are Wrestling Soon!

Two more barriers:

FORMAL TRAINING/PRIOR EXPERIENCE:

I didn't have any when I started, some 20 years ago. And by no experience, I mean "no meaningful experience in any sport of any kind, ever." I had never been on a team at any level, and the gym teachers ignored me so I didn't engage in school sports at all. I grew up not knowing how to play any of the common sports that an average American man would know... And that made this sport more accessible than, say, basketball, football (US or otherwise), baseball, hockey, etc. because you can start here at absolute zero and learn. It's humbling and frustrating at first, but it's possible.

I started studying BJJ after a few years here and that put me on the other side of that divide: Now I'm trained (but retired from training) and it's harder to find competitive matches. I don't mind coaching. I STILL have no idea how to play basketball.

AGE/APPEARANCE:

Was it easier to get matches when I was in my 30s and slimmer than it is now? HELL YES.

Great points. I would add discipline. Motivation gets you started but discipline keeps you going.

opponents available in one's area, especially small towns. you can't fight if there's nobody to take up that opportunity!
and it costs time and money to travel to find a fight in this case.

and for me personally - i have major energy issues (working this out with my doctor currently), so the thought of meeting with someone and knowing i'm going to be miserable for a few days afterwards is pretty rough.

love this topic, thanks!